There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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