Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
