i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
