He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
