im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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