what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
