It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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