they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
