So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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