wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
