Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
