return my video game
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
