Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
