The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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