I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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