Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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