brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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