My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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