He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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