and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Holy sore nipples Batman
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
