I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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