My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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