Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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