The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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