lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
