just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
