Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize
