He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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