Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
