I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
