Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
