The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
