Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
