brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
