How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
