We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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