Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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