I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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