Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
