What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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