Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
