He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
