I look better un-naked...
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Randomize
