I can't watch pbs sober anymore
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
