Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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