hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
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