In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
