I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
handjob tips. give me some.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
