you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
