that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
