I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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