I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
so let's talk penis.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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